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 Daryl’s Story
When I first found out my girlfriend was pregnant, I was happy. Although we were only 19, we actually wanted to settle down and be parents. The day my son was born was the best day of my life. But then things changed and my girlfriend decided she was not able to handle being a mom and no longer wanted to live with me and our son. So I decided to take our son and move in with my parents and to be the best dad in the world. And I really tried.
When my son was about 3 months old, I was ready to admit out loud what I had known in my heart for a long time---I wanted more for my son then I was giving him. I wanted a mom and a dad who didn’t have to work every hour of the day. I wanted a backyard and someone who would read to him at night. I sat down with my parents and they were feeling the same way. So, with a heavy heart and a sigh of relief, together we researched adoption agencies. I knew I had to find a family that would allow me to stay in touch.
We found Friends In Adoption and right away we knew over the phone that these people cared. We made a trip to the agency so we could look them in the eye and know that they would do right by my son. We told them what we wanted in prospective adoptive parents and they gave us profiles. They arranged a meeting with the couple we wanted to meet. They stood by our side when Janice and I signed the adoption papers. And most importantly, they found me a counselor near my house where I could go to free of charge to get counseling to get me through the first few months.
My son is now 2 and doing great. His parents stay in touch and because we all want what is best for him, we have grown to trust each other. He has a big brother he adores and I feel good about my decision. Do I wish I could be his Dad? You bet. But I found parents that could be there in ways that I can’t.
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 Dan’s Story
When my girlfriend Jessica told me she was pregnant, I cried. I already had 2 children that I only saw some of the time and I was trying to be a good parent. I was paying child support and it wasn’t easy. I really wanted to do an adoption plan and my girl friend sometimes did and sometimes didn’t. She contacted Friends In Adoption and to be honest with you, I just wanted to know where I could sign once the baby was born. I know she wanted me to agree to raise the baby with her, but I just couldn’t.
She took her time deciding about the adoption and even spent an extra day in the hospital. I think she was hoping that I would change my mind, but I didn’t. I chose not to see my son and I also chose not to have any post-adoption contact with him. I wanted the adoptive parents to feel like his parents without me hanging around. I know Jessica will get to see the baby once a year and will get letters and pictures. If that makes her happy, then that is fine with me. My son is now a year old and I do think about him. I love him but I knew what I had to do.
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 Patrick’s Story
When I was in high school, I had a girlfriend Annie and we were in love. She came from a really strict, Catholic family. When she got pregnant our senior year in high school, her family immediately made her break up with me. They convinced her to place our son for adoption. It wasn’t like I disagreed with the decision about adoption. I was angry that I was blamed for Annie’s pregnancy. I contacted Friends In Adoption which is the agency that Annie’s parents had found, and I was lucky. The caseworker told me what rights I had and I was able to share my medical history with the adoptive parents. Also, Annie wanted no contact with the baby after the adoption. But I did and so I get to see my son every year at the FIA picnic and I get letters and pictures twice a year. FIA made sure I had an attorney to look out for my legal interests, at no cost to me.
I was able to go to college and graduate. I have a good job so I know my son will be proud. I don’t think I could have done all this if I had to be a full-time dad to my son and this way I get the best of both worlds.
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 Aaron’s Story
I was not a young guy when my ex-wife told me she was pregnant. She was already parenting our 8 year old so I was shocked when she told me she wanted to place our child for adoption. She had already called an agency, Friends In Adoption, and was looking at profiles of potential families.
I was adopted through the foster care system and mistakenly thought that a private agency was the same as the state. I was so wrong. I was approached by a caseworker who truly wanted me to get involved with the process and meet the adoptive parents and provide my medical history. I ended up really liking the adoptive parents (especially the adoptive father) and I know our daughter will have a great life. To be honest, I knew I couldn’t parent since I didn’t have a stable job or living situation but I thought my ex-wife would be able to. She had a good job, but I guess she had a different idea. The adoption has brought us closer and we no longer fight over all the little things.
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