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Birth Mother Adoption Stories
 To give you a little more information about our agency and the services it provides, we have included letters from Holly and Sara, each of whom placed her child for adoption with the help of FIA.
Holly's Story
When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't tell anyone except the baby's father. He said many insulting things to me. So, I dug myself a hole, wore big, baggy clothes and denied that this was happening to me. I was 16 years old and worried about what my friends, family and small town community would think. So many thoughts were on my mind. Would my parents kick me out? Would I be able to finish high school? Would I be able to go to college as I had always planned? What would happen to my baby and me?
When I told my Mom in my seventh month, she was surprisingly supportive and we cried together as she kept telling me that we would get through this. My Mom had a friend whose daughter placed her child for adoption a few years back with the help of Friends In Adoption, so my Mom called them. I remember my Mom hanging up the phone with tears in her eyes telling me that Friends In Adoption would be able to answer all our questions about what to do about the birth father since he wasn't cooperating and what kind of contact we could have with the adoptive family. FIA connected us to an adoption attorney in our area and a counselor. (I knew I couldn't get through this without some counseling.)
We were happy to learn that we could pick the adoptive family and chose someone who was similar to our own family. We spoke to them on the phone and met with them twice before the baby was born. I finally got pre-natal care and would speak to them after my doctor's appointments. The relationship we developed was built on respect and gratitude on both of our parts. They were an answer to my prayers and I was an answer to theirs. By the time my son was born, his adoptive parents felt like part of my extended family. With the help of my son's adoptive parents, I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of he was a beautiful baby boy and I was so proud!
The day I left the hospital and drove away without him was the most difficult day of my life. Despite that, I don't regret anything. My son has a loving and stable home with every opportunity imaginable. Even though I would have done anything to give my son a great life, I didn't have the financial resources, the maturity or time to give him the life he now has. I receive frequent letters and pictures from my son's parents, visit with him once or twice a year, write poems to him and write about him in my journal.
Deep down inside, I know I made the right decision. Through my experience, I grew up in so many ways and learned that an unfortunate situation can be turned into something much more positive. The future looks pretty fantastic for both my son and me.
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 Sara's Story
After struggling financially and emotionally for many years to raise my daughter, I was finally in a good place. I had gotten my GED and had a job that would actually support my daughter and I. Although money was tight and I had little time for myself, I was hanging in there. Then, I found out I was pregnant. It felt like some cruel joke!
I was numb for awhile. The baby's father was a nice enough guy but not father material. I knew I couldn't raise another child on my own at this time. I knew firsthand how hard it was, the sleepless nights, endless feedings and diapers, the constant worry when your child is sick and, of course, always worrying about money. I started to wonder if adoption was my answer.
I wasn't ready to talk about my pregnancy with my family until I figured out what I wanted to do. I opened the yellow pages to an ad for an adoption agency called Friends In Adoption that talked about kindness and respect. I thought I could use a little of that! I called two or three times before I got the nerve not to hang up. The person on the other end of the phone was kind and caring and asked about my story. I started crying and the woman just patiently waited and listened until I calmed down enough to talk. She sent me some information about adoption and some booklets with pictures and information about the families that were waiting to adopt. She also sent me a book that I could read to my daughter about why I was choosing adoption. She assured me that none of what I was doing meant I was definitely committed to placing my child for adoption because I couldn't sign the final papers until after my baby was born.
I chose a family with an adorable two-year old son. Since I always wanted a big brother when I was growing up, I decided to give that to my unborn child. I talked to the adoptive mom to see if they were the family for me and we hit it off right away. We talked on the phone every so often. I was busy working, taking care of my daughter and going to doctor's appointments. The caseworker at Friends in Adoption also helped me figure out how to explain to my family that I was choosing adoption for my baby and how to deal with the baby's father. It wasn't easy.
Since the baby was breech, I was scheduled for a C-section. But my daughter had a mind of her own and was born two days before. The adoptive parents got here as fast as they could, but they had a long drive. I couldn't wait to actually meet them and find out the name they had chosen for our daughter. We all spent time at the hospital with the baby before it was time to sign the papers and to leave the hospital. It was the toughest thing I ever did but it was made a little easier knowing that my daughter now had two loving parents, a big brother, many grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins and a life I could only dream of for her. I also know her adoptive parents will tell her about me and her sister and remind her how much I loved her when I made this decision, and that I will always love her. I was also thrilled that I would get letters and pictures from the adoptive parents twice a year so that I would always know that my precious baby girl was safe, happy and loved.
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