Birth
Mother Adoption Stories  To
give you a little more information about our agency and the services it provides,
we have included letters from Holly and Sara, each of whom placed her child for
adoption with the help of FIA.
Holly's Story
When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't tell anyone except the baby's
father. He said many insulting things to me. So, I dug myself a hole, wore big,
baggy clothes and denied that this was happening to me. I was 16 years old and
worried about what my friends, family and small town community would think. So
many thoughts were on my mind. Would my parents kick me out? Would I be able to
finish high school? Would I be able to go to college as I had always planned?
What would happen to my baby and me? When I told my Mom in my seventh month,
she was surprisingly supportive and we cried together as she kept telling me that
we would get through this. My Mom had a friend whose daughter placed her child
for adoption a few years back with the help of Friends In Adoption, so my Mom
called them. I remember my Mom hanging up the phone with tears in her eyes telling
me that Friends In Adoption would be able to answer all our questions about what
to do about the birth father since he wasn't cooperating and what kind of contact
we could have with the adoptive family. FIA connected us to an adoption attorney
in our area and a counselor. (I knew I couldn't get through this without some
counseling.) We were happy to learn that we could pick the adoptive family
and chose someone who was similar to our own family. We spoke to them on the phone
and met with them twice before the baby was born. I finally got pre-natal care
and would speak to them after my doctor's appointments. The relationship we developed
was built on respect and gratitude on both of our parts. They were an answer to
my prayers and I was an answer to theirs. By the time my son was born, his adoptive
parents felt like part of my extended family. With the help of my son's adoptive
parents, I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of he was a beautiful baby
boy and I was so proud! The day I left the hospital and drove away without
him was the most difficult day of my life. Despite that, I don't regret anything.
My son has a loving and stable home with every opportunity imaginable. Even though
I would have done anything to give my son a great life,
I didn't have the
financial resources, the maturity or time to give him the life he now has. I receive
frequent letters and pictures from my son's parents, visit with him once or twice
a year, write poems to him and write about him in my journal. Deep down
inside, I know I made the right decision. Through my experience, I grew up in
so many ways and learned that an unfortunate situation can be turned into something
much more positive. The future looks pretty fantastic for both my son and me.
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 Sara's
Story
After struggling financially and emotionally for many years
to raise my daughter, I was finally in a good place. I had gotten my GED and had
a job that would actually support my daughter and I. Although money was tight
and I had little time for myself, I was hanging in there. Then, I found out I
was pregnant. It felt like some cruel joke! I was numb for awhile. The baby's
father was a nice enough guy but not father material. I knew I couldn't raise
another child on my own at this time. I knew firsthand how hard it was, the sleepless
nights, endless feedings and diapers, the constant worry when your child is sick
and, of course, always worrying about money. I started to wonder if adoption was
my answer. I wasn't ready to talk about my pregnancy with my family until
I figured out what I wanted to do. I opened the yellow pages to an ad for an adoption
agency called Friends In Adoption that talked about kindness and respect. I thought
I could use a little of that! I called two or three times before I got the nerve
not to hang up. The person on the other end of the phone was kind and caring and
asked about my story. I started crying and the woman just patiently waited and
listened until I calmed down enough to talk. She sent me some information about
adoption and some booklets with pictures and information about the families that
were waiting to adopt. She also sent me a book that I could read to my daughter
about why I was choosing adoption. She assured me that none of what I was doing
meant I was definitely committed to placing my child for adoption because I couldn't
sign the final papers until after my baby was born. I chose a family with
an adorable two-year old son. Since I always wanted a big brother when I was growing
up, I decided to give that to my unborn child. I talked to the adoptive mom to
see if they were the family for me and we hit it off right away. We talked on
the phone every so often. I was busy working, taking care of my daughter and going
to doctor's appointments. The caseworker at Friends in Adoption also helped me
figure out how to explain to my family that I was choosing adoption for my baby
and how to deal with the baby's father. It wasn't easy. Since the baby was
breech, I was scheduled for a C-section. But my daughter had a mind of her own
and was born two days before. The adoptive parents got here as fast as they could,
but they had a long drive. I couldn't wait to actually meet them and find out
the name they had chosen for our daughter. We all spent time at the hospital with
the baby before it was time to sign the papers and to leave the hospital. It was
the toughest thing I ever did but it was made a little easier knowing that my
daughter now had two loving parents, a big brother, many grandparents, aunts and
uncles and cousins and a life I could only dream of for her. I also know her adoptive
parents will tell her about me and her sister and remind her how much I loved
her when I made this decision, and that I will always love her. I was also thrilled
that I would get letters and pictures from the adoptive parents twice a year so
that I would always know that my precious baby girl was safe, happy and loved.
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