| Thinking
About Adoption?
Being pregnant and unsure of what to do can be confusing
and lonely. You feel like you are the only person in the world with this problem,
and you don't know where to turn. You need someone to talk to who won't tell you
what you "should" do. It can be difficult to make a decision like this without
all the facts.
Friends In Adoption is a licensed open and compassionate
adoption agency founded by an adoptive mother who saw that the many needs of pregnant
women/couples and prospective adoptive families were not being met in adoption
situations. Pregnant women/couples and prospective adoptive families receive support
and understanding from FIA. Regardless of your decision, YOU will be treated with
kindness and respect. To
give you a little more information about our agency and for pregnant women/couples,
we have addressed some of the most common questions and concerns below (click
here). How to contact our staff: If
you are pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, we can help.
To receive by mail a confidential packet of information about adoption and your
local resources, please CLICK
HERE to fill out a brief questionnaire.
If you'd rather have us contact you by phone or email to discuss your rights
and options in creating an adoption plan, please CLICK
HERE to complete some contact information:
(All
calls made are confidential and we do not disclose the name of our agency or information
about adoption to anyone but you).
To
give you a little more information about our agency and for pregnant women/couples,
we have addressed some of the most common questions and concerns below: What
Choices Do I Have in Adoption?
You have many choices in adoption! If
you decide on adoption, you and the adoptive family will make the decision that
will make your adoption unique and personal.
Just as every person is
different, every adoption is different. The adoption will be defined as yours
by the choices you make. You may decide to place your child with a family of a
particular Race or Religion or it may not matter to you at all. You may want to
meet with the family who will adopt your baby, or you may just want to talk with
them over the phone. You may want to place your baby with a family who does not
have children, or a family who already has children. The things you feel are important
will shape your adoption plan. All adoption plans are as unique and different
as the people who make them. Why Don't People Think That Adoption is
OK?
Adoption has changed a lot in the past few years. In the past, people
often thought of adoption as a secret that shouldn't be discussed once the child
was placed with an adoptive family. Happily, adoption is now being viewed in a
positive way that looks at the needs of the birth parents, the child they are
considering placing, and the adoptive parents they are choosing.
We
are looking more at the needs of those involved in the adoption and how to make
it work. We believe that adoption planning needs to be focused on the best interests
of the child, and we are committed to "child-centered adoption". At Friends In
Adoption, we are concerned with making sure that you have the information and
support you need to make a decision you can feel comfortable with. What
if I Don't Have Medical Insurance?/How Will I Pay my Medical Bills?
These
are both very common questions. There are many social and federal organizations
that are designed to help you. If you do not qualify for these programs or if
the resources are unavailable to you, it is possible that the prospective adoptive
parents may assist in paying for your prenatal care and delivery costs. It depends
on the adoption laws in your state. What Are My Legal Rights in Adoption?
As a birth parent, you need to be fully informed of your rights before your child
is born. The baby remains yours until you decide to relinquish your rights and
place the baby with adoptive parents. In most states you will appear before a
judge in completely neutral surroundings so that he or she can determine that
you understand exactly what you are doing before you sign the adoption papers.
The agency or attorney who you are working with should explain this to you ahead
of time, and everything should be done to be sure that you are clear and comfortable
with the adoption. Do I Have to Tell The Father of My Baby? Who Else
Should I Tell?
Fathers have rights too, and we address the issue of birth
fathers in every adoption. Every effort needs to be made to include the birth
father and/or account for his role in the adoption planning process. It secures
the adoption for the child and for you.
It is hard to decide who else
you can share this with. It is scary to think of telling your parents or friends,
but these are sometimes the people who offer the best support since they already
know you. It is up to you to decide whom you want to tell, but know that we are
here to give you support or an unbiased opinion in the decisions you make. What
Happens After Placement?
Your adoption plan should/will address the need
for contact after placement. It is important for you to know that your child will
be secure and well taken care of, and your child needs to know he or she is as
loved by those who placed him/her as those who will care for him/her. How you
choose to do this and how often you keep in contact is up to you. Future contact
may be important to help you feel good about the decision that you are making,
as well as to secure the child's history and place in this world.
If
you choose to place your child for adoption, you will need some time to adjust
to the changes it will bring. You can use this time to develop a fresh outlook
and make plans for the future. This can be a beneficial time for you, and we can
provide an objective viewpoint during this time to help to put your new ideas
to work. What if My Baby is Not Healthy?
This is clearly the
worst nightmare of any parent, whether it be a birth parent or adoptive parents.
Everyone needs special care and support in a time of crisis, and we are here for
you 24 hours day. Some families may not be ready to bear the added financial burden,
but there are many who are ready, willing, and capable of parenting a handicapped
or health-impaired infant. Good prenatal care is vital in order to do everything
possible to ensure a healthy baby. Seeing a doctor as soon as you can may ensure
an easier delivery, and increase the chances for you to have a healthy baby. How
Much Contact Will I Have? As Time Passes, Will it Change?
The amount of
contact you have after placement is something that you and the prospective adoptive
parents should work out ahead of time to insure that feelings will not get hurt
after placement. It is important that birth parents and adoptive parents each
know what their responsibilities will be before and after placement. It is important
to know "where you stand". Therefore, you need to weigh your decisions carefully.
Counseling is a very important part of your decision making process, It helps
you to search within your heart, to identify your needs and to make a decision
that you can feel right about.
Our agency staff understands the importance
of individualized counseling and makes every effort to give support to all of
those involved in your adoption plan. When your needs have changed, our agency
can help mediate and lessen any conflicts that may arise as a result. Adoption
is a life long process, and we are here to listen and help you and your child
now and in the future.
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