Over the years, we’ve worked with many women facing an unplanned pregnancy in New York.It’s not uncommon for women considering all of the pregnancy options, including adoption, to have some questions about the process and what adoption would mean for them going forward.
Here are some of the most common questions our caseworkers receive:
Q: I know this is a decision I have to make for myself, but it is so stressful. Will seeing a counselor help?
A: FIA’s motto is “our compassion, your decision.” You have choices, and we want you to make the best-informed choice for you. FIA highly recommends that you talk with a counselor, specifically one who specialized in adoption. This counselor will not only help you process your feelings, but can help walk you through different scenarios to help you prepare for certain moments in the adoption process – like delivery day and post-adoption. Our case managers will be there to support you as well. Counseling is available to you at any time throughout your child’s life, until he or she turns 18.
Q: I would feel better if I spoke with another woman who placed a child for adoption in New York. Is this possible?
A: Yes, we would be happy to put you in contact with another woman who made an adoption plan for her baby (a birth mother).
Q: Will I be able to choose the adoptive parents?
A: Yes, profiles of hopeful adoptive families that meet the criteria that you are looking for, and who have been properly vetted, will be presented to you to help you make the decision that is best for you and your baby.
Q: I would really like to talk or meet with the potential adoptive family that I’m considering. Is this possible?
A: Absolutely. I can set up a conference call to talk, or a visit via Skype or in-person – whatever you are comfortable with at this time. Often times your Case Manager can join you and help facilitate and then let you all take it from there.
Q: When it comes time to give birth, what happens?
A: Every woman we work with is encouraged to create a “hospital plan.” This plan will detail how you’d like your hospital experience to play out and to what level you’d like the adoptive parents to be involved. The “hospital plan” is completely up to you, and our caseworkers will support you in any decision you make. You can change this plan at any time.
Q: I may need some financial support during my pregnancy. Would FIA be able to assist with that?
A: Yes! FIA follows all applicable state laws, and there may be some pregnancy expenses that FIA may be able to help you with. We can take a look at your specific situation and figure out ways we might be able to assist you financially. Of course, any counseling and legal fees will be covered.
Q: I am not really sure what I am going to want regarding post-adopt contact – can you tell me more about different possibilities?
A: Every adoption situation is different, and FIA is here to guide you all in terms of ongoing contact that is mutually agreed upon, optimal for all involved, and also has healthy boundaries. It is all about what is best for the child, and often the relationship develops with time. Many birth parents choose to receive letters and photos several times a year. They also often elect to have an annual visit with the adoptive family, often held at our annual FIA picnic in Vermont.
Q: Tell me how naming this baby would work.
A: Naming is a very personal process. We have had some birth and adoptive families discuss names before the baby is born. If there are names you might like the adoptive family to consider, we’re sure that they would be interested to hear that.
If you find yourself searching the internet for “give baby up for adoption New York,” or “pregnant not sure what to do New York,” then you’re probably looking for some answers to questions you cannot answer yourself. That’s understandable, and you’re not alone. If you need judgment-free information, FIA is here to help. Regardless of what you decide, you will be treated with kindness and respect. FIA is pro-choice and will support you while you consider your options.
Call 1-800-982-3678 anytime.