First it is important to understand that unplanned pregnancies are common and can happen to people from all different backgrounds. Sometimes, the unplanned pregnancy can come as a pleasant surprise. But there are many reasons why an individual might not want to be pregnant. It is important to know that it’s OK and you have options for moving forward. If you need help understanding and weighing all of your options, Friends in Adoption is here to help, at no cost to you, 24/7. Call 1-800-982-3678 or text 518-350-4581. Our unbiased team will help you sort through your emotions, weigh your options, take control of your situation, and empower you to make the best decision for your future.
To parent or not
The first choice you’ll be called on to make after you learn about an unplanned pregnancy boils down to this: “to parent or not to parent.” Making this choice can feel scary and overwhelming, but remember, you do not have to sort these feelings out on your own. Also, it is important to remember that you have the ability to change your mind at any point during the pregnancy. You may start off with the intention of parenting, then decide to create an adoption plan later on. Or you may decide you want to move forward with an adoption plan at first, but ultimately decide to parent. Either scenario is OK. We understand that things change and fully support you at any point along your journey.
Deciding to parent
The choice to raise your baby entails a lot of factors. What kind of support can you expect? Will the baby’s father be involved? Where will you live? How will you financially support yourself and the baby? Can you provide the kind of life you envision for your child right now? Do you wish to become a mother at this point? And so on.
Our team is here to help you weigh through your feelings, but ultimately you are the only one qualified to make this decision about your unintended pregnancy. If you are ready and excited to parent, great! There are resources available should you need help. If you do not feel ready to parent your child, there is absolutely no shame in that, and we can help you explore your other options.
Deciding not to parent
There are many reasons why you might not wish to become a parent. Maybe now is not the right time as you are pursuing career or educational goals. Maybe your current situation doesn’t allow you to provide the home environment and opportunities you want for your baby. Or maybe you don’t ever see yourself becoming a parent. Whatever your reason, your decision to not parent is completely okay. Once you have made the decision not to parent, you have a couple options.
If you decide parenting is not right for you, you can consider abortion as an option. This is a sensitive subject, so if you are considering abortion as an option for your unintended pregnancy there are a few things to keep in mind. First, there is no national legislation regarding abortion, so abortion laws vary in every state. You will need to do some research about your state’s abortion laws. Secondly, there are women’s health organizations, such as Planned Parenthood, that can help and counsel you should you be considering abortion as an option.
Adoption is the other route for those who choose not to parent. If you decide on adoption for your baby, you and the adoptive family will work together to make your adoption plan unique and personal. When it comes to adoption, there are a few options for you to choose from.
This is a popular option for adoptions today (though certainly not the only option). Open adoptions means there is an ongoing, direct relationship between the adoptive family and the birth family. Families can keep in touch via letters with pictures, phone calls, texts, video chat, or even social media. Some families even meet once or twice a year. The level of openness, frequency of contact and involvement can vary as every adoption relationship is different. These things will be discussed as you create an adoption plan together.
In this form of adoption the biological parents have no direct contact with the adoptive family. Information about birth parents is kept private in a closed adoption. Any communication and information to be shared between birth parents and the adoptive family would go through Friends in Adoption, until the child reaches legal age (18-21, depending on the state).
Of course, there’s an in-between choice – a semi-open adoption. The agreement typically involves the exchange of letters, at a set frequency, between the adoptive family and birth family. These letters often won’t contain identifying information like last names or address, and are exchanged with the help of our team here at Friends in Adoption.
Get Unbiased Unplanned Pregnancy Help Now
For nearly 40 years, Friends in Adoption has helped expectant mothers make empowered, informed decisions regarding adoption. As professionals and members of the adoption community, we’ve learned a lot during this time. We understand that when it comes to making a decision about your pregnancy, there are many, many factors that come into play. We also understand that these are significant, extremely personal choices and that they might be really difficult to make.
Our mission is to ensure that every individual who comes to us for guidance is given access to the tools and resources they need to make a truly informed decision that is right for both them and their baby. We seek to provide women considering “giving a baby up for adoption ” a safe, confidential, and caring space to contemplate their options, without pressure or judgment.
At Friends in Adoption we believe:
● All pregnant individuals deserve safe, meaningful support—no matter what they ultimately decide.
● Everyone deserves access to factual, unbiased information regarding ALL options: parenting, abortion, and adoption.
● Truly informed decisions are the best decisions.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, don’t forget you have options. Friends in Adoption is always available to offer unplanned pregnancy counseling and information for individuals within the United States. Our team of kind, caring, experienced specialists are available 24/7 to help you and support you in your decision-making. Call 1-800-982-3678 or text 1-518-350-4581.