Do you have questions about adoption and the adoption process? These are some typical questions the case managers are asked by pregnant women:
Q: I think counseling might help me decide what I want to do regarding this pregnancy, but I am not sure how that will work. I know this is a decision I have to make for myself, but it is so stressful.
FIA’s motto is “our compassion, your decision.” You have choices, and we want you to make the best informed choice for you. FIA highly recommends that you talk with a counselor, and in particular one that specializes in adoption, throughout the adoption process. A good adoption counselor will help you process your feelings to be sure you are making the best decision for you. The counselor can help you “try on” different scenarios and also prepare you for what it might be like at the hospital, and how you will feel after the placement. Case Managers are there for support as well. Counseling is available to you at any time throughout your child’s life, until he or she turns 18.
Q: Is there a birth mother that I can speak with?
Yes, we would be happy to put you in contact with another woman who made an adoption plan for her baby.
Q: Do I get to choose the adoptive parents?
Yes, profiles of families that meet the criteria that you are looking for will be presented to you to help you make the decision that is best for you and your baby.
Q: What happens at the hospital when I give birth?
Something that we like to do when possible is to work on a “hospital plan.” You will be able to
decide how you would like the hospital experience to be and to what level you might want the adoptive parents involved. It is completely up to you, and the plan can change at any time.
Q: I am finding myself in need of some financial assistance. Are there things that FIA might be able to assist me with?
Yes! FIA follows all applicable state laws, and there may be some legally allowable pregnancy expenses that FIA may be able to help you with. Of course, any counseling and legal fees will be covered, as well. We can take a look at your specific situation and figure out ways we might be able to assist you financially.
Q: I would really like to talk or meet with the family I might choose. Can we set that up?
Sure! I can set up a conference call to talk, or a visit via Skype or in person. A meeting can hap- pen where you feel most comfortable. Often times your Case Manager can join you and help facilitate and then let you all take it from there.
Q: I am not really sure what I am going to want regarding post-adopt contact – can you tell me more about different possibilities?
Many birth parents choose to receive letters and photos two to three times per year and have an annual visit – often held at our annual FIA picnic in Vermont. Every situation is unique, and FIA is here to guide you all in terms of ongoing con- tact that is mutually agreed upon, optimal for all involved, and also has healthy boundaries. It is all about what is best for the child, and often the relationship develops with time.
Q: Tell me how naming this baby would work.
Naming can be a very personal process. We have had some birth and adoptive families dis- cuss names before the baby is born. If there are names you might like the adoptive family to consider for a first or middle name, I am sure they would be interested to hear that. It is great if everyone agrees on a name, and it is also fine if the baby has an original name and then an adoptive name.
If you are facing a pregnancy decision, you need information, not judgement. Regardless of what you decide, you will be treated with kindness and respect. FIA is pro-choice and will support you while you consider your options. Call 1-800-982-3678 anytime.