Q: “I have decided to place my baby for adoption. I know the type of family that I want to adopt my child, and I am sure I am making the right decision. It is still incredibly hard, especially because I have no real support . Is there anything I can do to make this a little easier for both me and my 2 year old daughter?” – Kelly
A: “When my son was 2 , I placed my daughter for adoption. I told him that she had to go live with another family because this baby grew in their hearts for such a long time. At his age it was a suitable answer for him and eventually, as he got older and understood more, I could explain about the adoption.
As far as preparing yourself to do it……if you know in your heart it is the right thing to do you will do it. I would ask Friends In Adoption about free counseling for yourself. This will help prepare you and provide support for you. Also, with the help of your caseworker, make a plan for this adoption…along with the adoptive parents regarding the type of contact you want after placement. Whether you want an open adoption, where you see the child periodically as agreed upon by both parties or even a semi-open adoption where you correspond by mail, it is important to figure this out before the baby is born. Decide these things before placing your child and I think that will help in this transition.
Another thing that may help you is to write a letter to your child…the adoptive parents can hold on to the letter for you and let the child know it is there and at an appropriate age your child could sit down and read that letter……or the agency in which you are doing the adoption with can hold the letter for you….all your choice. Try and get connected with other women who have placed their children also….maybe even look in your area for a support group that deals with adoptions. I am sure Friends in Adoption can help you find these resources. I hope all of this can help you and it is what you are looking for…..I wish you all the best at such a difficult time in your life.” – From Monique, A Birth Mother