Q:"What was it like to give up your baby? Did you get to see him/her? At any stage, did you feel any guilt or selfishness?" - Jennifer
A:"Placing my child for adoption was a decision I had thought about a lot while I was pregnant and I knew that's what I wanted for my baby. I was unable to give him or her all that they needed. I was lucky and got to meet the adoptive parents that I chose for my baby and form a relationship with them for 3 months. They were there at our daughter's birth. I spent 3 days with my daughter and her adoptive parents in the hospital. I got to see them form that parent/child bond and that was really special. I really felt like I had made the right choice and since I knew where she was going to be over the years that just made it better.
But I had a really difficult time afterwards and fell apart. I never felt guilt or selfishness about placing my daughter. I felt sadness and I really missed my daughter and her adoptive parents. Counseling helped some but what helped the most was getting pictures and information from her parents on a regular basis. I got letters and pictures, and seeing how beautiful she was and hearing how she was doing really helped me realize I made the right choice for her and for myself.
I hope this answers your questions." - from Heidi, a Birth Mother