Lisa’s Story: A Birth Mother

“Both the birth father and I felt that this was the best option for us — but please know that we were fully allowed to create our own birth plan”
“Both the birth father and I felt that this was the best option for us — but please know that we were fully allowed to create our own birth plan”

My name is Lisa and I am honored to say that I am a Friends in Adoption Birth Mother. At the age of 39 I found myself in a much unplanned situation. I was on birth control and involved in a very nice relationship, becoming pregnant was the least of my worries after all there is only a .2 percent failure rate of birth control. Well much to my surprise I found myself in that .2 percent and searching for answers. One thing that I knew was that I could not terminate the pregnancy. I was so torn as I already had 2 beautiful and amazing daughters but I just was not sure that I was ready to or desired to go down the path again of becoming a parent at my age.

The birth father and I began the search. We looked at several agencies that worked with people in our situation. Throughout our search we came across many that we felt cared about us only for the amazing gift that we wanted to share with somebody else until we found Patty Smith, Dawn Pliner and Friends in Adoption. From the moment that we contacted Friends in Adoption and spoke with Diana we knew that we were in the right place. We were seen as people, we were not judged, we were welcomed immediately into the FIA family.

Patty Smith had frequent conversations with us on the telephone at first. I remember the excitement and relief when we were told that we could select the family that our baby would become a part of. The envelope arrived with the adoptive family profiles in them. We were so excited to look through them and see all of the people who wanted to become parents and we were so honored that we would be able to help them with this dream. I vividly remember finding the profile of Sarah and Ryan. They exuded such warmth in all of their pictures and you could instantly feel sense of sincerity in their words. We immediately knew that they had to be our family.

We called Patty with our decision and from then on Patty had every t crossed and every I dotted! We felt the love and appreciation from Ryan and Sarah but more importantly at this point in our story we felt the love and appreciation from FIA and knew that forever we would have them as a family as well.

We remember clearly the day that Kate was born. We called Corky, our counselor, to tell her that we were in the hospital, and she called Ryan and Sarah. Corky, later shared with me as I was in labor that Sarah told her that she was driving so that they could get here faster as Ryan was not as fast a driver as she was. The moment and the entire day that Kate was born on was one of the most beautiful days of our lives. It was such an honor and a joy to become a mom to my own daughters as well but this was different, special in its own way and Kate was such a special girl from the moment that she was conceived. Kate came into this world in record time, I heard her cry and then she was whisked away to the maternity ward to await the arrival of the very special and amazing other angels in our lives, Ryan and Sarah. Both the birth father and I felt that this was the best option for us — but please know that we were fully allowed to create our own birth plan.

Even after Kate was born and until this very day we do not feel a loss. We feel such pride, honor, and gratitude in our lives for Patty Smith, who will forever be a special angel in our lives, for Dawn for having such an amazing agency with which to work, and to Ryan, Sarah, and Kate as they are now also our extended family. We did not lose a child or give up a child. We gained a whole new family that will never be far from us throughout the rest of our lives. I look forward to the picnic this July as I get to meet Ryan, Sarah, and Kate for the first time in person and to reconnect with the amazing professionals at FIA. Choosing FIA would be the best decision in your journey, one that you could make with absolute peace of mind.

 - This article is part of the Friends in Adoption Newsletter: Connections, which can be downloaded HERE.

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