Adoption Process for Birth Mother

Step 1: Exploring your options

Adoption may be one of the alternatives you’re considering for your unplanned pregnancy. But there are other paths. We recommend you carefully consider your options in a supportive, pressure-free environment. That’s why our first step is one of exploring those options.

The first thing you’ll get from Friends in Adoption is a safe space to explore your options. Our trained, experienced, caring intake professionals will provide free, supportive, confidential counsel. They’ll listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and provide resources in a non-judgemental, open environment.

During this exploration we can help you run through various scenarios. If you’d parent the baby, would you be a single parent? Raise the child as a couple? Work out joint custody? Do you have the income to support a child? If you are considering abortion, we can talk about your state’s laws. If adoption is an option, your counselor can explain the different types of adoption.

Step 2: Creating your adoption plan

If you decide on adoption for your baby, the next step is to connect with another of our professionals, a case manager. Your case manager will help you create your own adoption plan – the road map for your adoption journey.

This plan is about controlling your experience and giving your baby a good start. You’ll spell out your expectations and goals with the help and guidance of your case manager. Your adoption plan lets you answer crucial questions like:

What type of adoption do you want – open, closed, or semi-open?
Do you want to share your pregnancy and adoption plan with family and/or friends? Do you want your case manager involved with these meetings?
Do you want to choose your child’s adoptive family?
Do you want the prospective adoptive family involved during the pregnancy?
What hospital do you wish to give birth at? Do you want to spend time with the baby at the hospital? Do you want the prospective adoptive family to do the same?
Do you want information about your child as he/she grows? If so, how often and in what form?

Whatever the question, it’s your answer that counts. These decisions are yours to make. Your adoption plan will guide you and your adoption case manager through the remaining steps for placing your baby for adoption, so you can be sure everything goes exactly how you want it to.

As you’re putting together your plan, your case manager will also connect you with the legal and pregnancy services you need. There’s no charge for these services.

Step 3: Finding the adoptive family

You want to identify the right adoptive family for your baby – a family that will love, support, and cherish your baby their whole life. What “right family” means is unique to you. You may have a clear vision of who you see raising your child. You’ll be able to follow through by defining what you’re looking for and even selecting the adoptive family.

Your case manager will help you document the characteristics your vision defines. Then you can decide how involved you wish to be in selection.

You can review our already-vetted, legally-approved potential adoptive families. You can also elect to contact families that match what you’re looking for. Or you can choose to not be involved in this selection process. As hands-on or hands-off you want to be, your case manager will help you through the process.

Step 4: Giving birth

Your adoption plan will include a hospital plan that documents your choices for when you give birth. Those choices might include your support team, the presence and involvement of adoptive parents, and your desired interaction with your baby. Your case manager can advise you on adoption-friendly hospitals and care providers. We want to ensure your birth experience is a good one

When you go into labor, you’ll want to let your case manager know so she can be available to you and your support system (family, friends, care professionals), the adoptive parents, and hospital staff. We advocate for you while you’re in the hospital.

This is often an emotional time. It may help you to remember why you chose this path for you and your baby. Your case manager will be available for as much emotional support as you need.

Step 5: Placing your baby with the adoptive family

After the baby is born, your case manager will review your adoption plan with you and make sure the process is going the way you want it to. If you’re comfortable with your adoption plan, after the birth is when you’ll place your baby with the adoptive family. Usually this is the day the baby is discharged from the hospital.

Your adoption plan will define how this step should go. The baby can be placed directly with the adoptive parents or discharged by your case manager and then placed with the adoptive parents. You can be present for the placement or not. That’s your choice.

You may need to sign the adoption surrender or consent on the day of placement. The documents will have been introduced to you before so they’ll be familiar. An attorney will be there for you (the adoption attorney Friends in Adoption introduced you to during your pregnancy.) The attorney will make sure you understand the process and the paperwork, as well as to confirm you’re comfortable with your plan.

A range of emotions may hit you. That’s normal. Your case manager will be there to provide support and guidance. Your case manager will never pressure you to continue with your adoption plan if that’s not what you want.

Step 6: Focusing on the future

Placing your baby with an adoptive family can feel like an end, but it’s a beginning, too. You’ve given your baby a good start. If you’ve chosen an open adoption, you’ll receive updates as your baby grows. Plus, you have your own life to live.

After giving birth you may feel a variety of emotions. Your case manager is ready to listen, sit with you, be a shoulder to cry on – whatever you need. Friends in Adoption provides lifelong support for birth families. Whenever you need us to answer a question, support you through hard times, or share a joy, we’re here.