Our Family
Both of us are family people. It’s one of the things that drew us together. Jason’s family lives nearby in NJ, so we see them regularly. And Tonya’s family, while spread all over the country, remains close and connected. So both families are really part of our daily lives, even more so in the midst of the Covid pandemic. Video calls with grandparents on both sides are an almost daily occurrence, as are calls with our sisters and their kids.
Tonya: “I have a twin sister, Tracy, who is also my best friend. We talk almost every day. It’s tricky sometimes because we have to balance wanting to talk to each other and also seeing and being involved with each other’s kids. Tracy reads books to Keaton (Llama Llama Red Pajama is his current favorite) over video chat. Her husband, Mike, loves making silly faces at him and making him laugh. And her two boys, who are nine and ten, show off their latest flips and tricks and tell me what books I should read next. My mom, Trish, also reads to Keaton over video chat, and plays trucks with him. Before Covid, she came to visit about once every two or three months, not wanting to miss any time with her grandson! Both she and Tracy live in Ohio. My brother, Chris, lives in Texas with his partner Sean, and my dad, Mike, lives in Florida. We make a point to travel to see each other as often as possible. Christmas is very important to us, so that’s usually the holiday for which we all manage to come together. We also love to go on vacations together. They are all beyond excited at the idea of welcoming another child into the family to love and play with.
I also have a very large extended family, most of whom live in Louisville, KY. We are a family of educators, all of whom love children. There are always little ones running around holiday get togethers, the benefit of a large family. The kids put on shows for the adults, we all play games together, the adults pass the babies around. It’s very chaotic and very warm.”
Jason: “Holiday dinners (secular and religious) were often hosted by my mom at our house, usually with twenty plus family members in attendance. I remember the house being full of noise and laughter, and I loved getting to spend time with uncles, aunts, and cousins.
A good example of how we’ve remained close is that for over forty years my family has gathered together for game nights. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to actually sit at the table and play with the adults, which probably started around age fourteen. During the Covid pandemic, we’ve been able to play weekly over Zoom, which has been wonderful.
The values my parents instilled in my sister and me were not the product of a specific lesson or lecture. They revealed how to live a good life and modeled that for us. They showed us kindness, selflessness, industriousness, curiosity. My parents demonstrated their charity towards others and their decency in subtle, consistent ways. I hope to offer the same guidance and example to my children.”
