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FAQ: “Can I Choose Who Adopts My Baby?”

If you are considering adoption for your baby, you’re already facing a difficult decision. A reservation of many birth parents is finding the right adoptive family for your baby. Many ask us, “Can I choose who adopts my baby?” Birth parents often come to us worrying how they’ll know someone is the right fit, or even how to go about looking for adoptive parents. 

There are several approaches to choosing who adopts your baby. Some who are looking for parents to adopt their baby consider friends or family members. However, working with an experienced adoption agency and selecting from screened adoptive families is the best option for many birth parents. 

Problems with Choosing Someone You Know

Some pregnant individuals believe that placing their child for adoption with a friend or family member is the best option for them. There are multiple reasons that this may not be the best option.

Remember that looking for adoptive parents is all about what makes you comfortable, not what other people want you to do. This can be a major pressure on pregnant individuals. Consider these questions before pursuing an identified adoption: 

  • How well do you truly know them? Have they gone through screenings or background checks?
  • What makes you think they are the perfect fit for your baby? Is it more about convenience, or are there some traits you admire in them?
  • Are you feeling pressure from anyone to let them adopt your baby?
  • Are you prepared to respect your friend or family member’s parenting style and decisions?
  • Are you prepared for the relationship to change between you and the parent(s)? 
  • Will you be comfortable seeing them on a regular basis with the baby?
  • Will you be getting the services and support you need throughout the pregnancy?

Benefits of Working with an Adoption Agency

While you may have someone you are comfortable with adopting your baby, there are numerous advantages to working with adoption agencies. Adoption agencies are uniquely able to support you by offering a range of services while looking for parents to adopt your baby. These can include: 

  • Medical expenses
  • Some travel/living expenses 
  • Adoption education
  • Counseling and support services
  • Legal services

More than that, adoption agencies are experienced and fluent in the world of adoption. Your adoption team can help you find an adoption friendly hospital, navigate some legal concerns, and offer you counseling services long after your baby is with their new adoptive parents. Friends in Adoption prioritizes offering you support whenever you may need it. We’re even available 24/7 for birth parents, by phone, text, or email. Agencies can work together, as your partner in this journey. 

Choosing An Adoptive Family with An Adoption Agency

When you choose to work with an agency to find a family to adopt your baby, you have more control and say in the situation. All families are screened and complete a home study before becoming official waiting parents. This is to ensure your safety and the best environment for your baby. 

After creating an adoption plan, your Friends in Adoption team will ask you to consider a few things. Do you want to choose the adoptive parents? Would you prefer if the team presented a few options that fit what you are looking for? In this process, you have as much control as you would like. Some questions to consider when looking for parents to adopt your baby include things like:

  • What is important to you, regarding culture and religion?
  • What family structure/dynamics are you comfortable with? What do you picture for the home your child grows up in?
  • Where will the family ideally be located- in the same state? The same region? In a city, the suburbs, or the countryside?
  • Are there any lifestyle traits you want your child to experience? Travelling, growing up in a musical home, being active, playing sports? 

By answering these questions, you are helping yourself establish the environment and lifestyle you are comfortable with your baby having. For more in-depth information on the process of looking for parents to adopt your baby with Friends in Adoption, please visit our blog or contact a team member.

Choosing a family to adopt your baby can be stressful. Know that whoever you choose is going to provide your baby with a happy, loving life that you dream of for them. Working with an agency to find an adoptive family ensures safety for the baby and that you are comfortable. If you are looking to place your child with someone you know, Friends in Adoption can assist you as well. 

Are you a pregnant individual or couple who is looking for parents to adopt your baby? Check out our adoptive family profiles. All are waiting for a child to bring even more love into their home! See someone you connect to? Contact us at Friends in Adoption today and we’ll help you create an adoption plan.


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