FAQ: How do adopted children feel about their birth parents?

Q: “How do adopted children feel about their birth parents?” – Anne

A: “This perspective was written by a 13 year old girl who was adopted about her birth mother Ellen.

I admire my birth mother, Ellen, for her heroic characteristics. She has done so many wonderful and courageous things in her life for me, for her family, and for mine.

My birth mother, Ellen, is a music teacher in Texas. She teaches children how to play in an orchestra in five different elementary schools. She also plays the viola in the Symphony Orchestra. She lives with her husband. They have a son who is five and a dog named Sasha.

Some positive aspects of being a hero are that people see heroes as role models and look up to them. People trust heroes to be there and to keep secrets and to listen and understand them. Some negative aspects are that people expect things from heroes that they don’t expect from other people. This makes it hard for the heroes to always live up to those expectations.

I look at Ellen as a hero because she has done a lot of courageous things in her life. First of all, she made an adoption plan for me to live with parents who could take better care of me. This was courageous because she loves me greatly and knew that she would miss me. Another courageous thing is that she is not afraid to write and talk to me. For example, one summer my family and I went to her home to visit her.

Also, she is supportive of me and understanding of my feelings. She is friendly and kind. I can depend on her to be there. She supports me by listening and understanding. She is caring because she always says “I love you!” at the end of every phone call.

She perseveres because she continued with her career in music, even with her other job and her family! She is a hard worker because she has two jobs and a family to take care of. She is intelligent because she is really good at music and teaching.

She is brave because she flew all the way to Vermont for the adoption of me. She persevered with the adoption even though a lot of people told her she should not do the adoption. She is also trustworthy because she kept her word when she was doing the adoption plan and still gave me to my parents.

The main reason I think Ellen is a hero is because I think of heroes as ordinary people who do extraordinary things. Ellen is an ordinary person, with an ordinary family, but yet she did a courageous and extraordinary thing to make everyone happy.” – Beth

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