Darcy’s Story

Darcy, Peter and Chris

Darcy is a 4 year old wonderful girl. Meet her adoptive parents, and her birth mom, in a loving open adoption story.

Peter: I think we always knew we wanted to be parents. We met about twelve years ago and even on our first date, I think we talked about parenting on that first date.

Chris: Prematurely for sure but –

P: Perhaps… When we were looking into adoption it was very clear that we weren’t going to have biological children of our own being a gay couple so we looked at all the ways we could start a family and we love the fact that in open adoption there are no secrets. The child’s story is right there in front of them from day one.

P: One of the important pieces of open adoption is that the birth mother or birth family chooses from adoptive families that are approved to adopt. The first call that we were chosen turned out to be Darcy’s birthmother. She as about seven months pregnant at the time and she had asked that we have a phone call.

C: We put her on speakerphone and we were both very, very nervous.

P: There’s no rulebook for that conversation.

C: But it went great. I think we immediately felt a connection with her.

P: It just seemed like Darcy was meant to be our daughter. … Being in the delivery room was a very powerful experience.

C: Yea. It was just surreal and I just remember crying a lot. Tears of joy obviously.

P: And I will never forget being able to be at the start of this beautiful life and this incredible open adoption. There’s a picture of the birth mother and Chris and me all holding hands and I think that says so much about this adoption. We’re all in this together.

P: Even though Darcy’s only two-and-a-half at this point, we have told her many times her adoption story. Her family was created in a different way than a lot of families are created.

C: We’ve always felt it’s important for Darcy to know about her birth family.

P: We have been lucky enough to get together with Darcy’s birth mom several times, more so than what is required in this legal document we have with her. Including, going to the Friends in Adoption picnic which is a great annual event every July in Vermont. There’s been a great connection there.

P: I remember them specifically playing at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum and they brought each other alive in great ways.

C: It’s almost like she’s seeing an Aunt she hasn’t seen in some time. We’re not worried that somehow Darcy will love us less or anything.

P: There’s lots of love to go around and Darcy certainly is able to give us love and her birth mom love.

C: Darcy is fun to be around, silly, very artistic, very social. Like, we walk down the street and she’s greeting everyone and every animal that we come across. Darcy has changed our lives completely and we are so thankful for it. We hope that as Darcy grows up she is able to have her adoption story be a part of who she is but not define her.

P: She is surrounded by love in this house, in her family, her extended family and then, of course, I hope that she is able to continue that love, to pass that on to her family. However that family is created.

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