When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn’t tell anyone except the baby’s father. He said many insulting things to me. So, I dug myself a hole, wore big, baggy clothes and denied that this was happening to me. I was 16 years old and worried about what my friends, family and small town community would think. So many thoughts were on my mind. Would my parents kick me out? Would I be able to finish high school? Would I be able to go to college as I had always planned? What would happen to my baby and me?
When I told my Mom in my seventh month, she was surprisingly supportive and we cried together as she kept telling me that we would get through this. My Mom had a friend whose daughter placed her child for adoption a few years back with the help of Friends in Adoption, so my Mom called them. I remember my Mom hanging up the phone with tears in her eyes telling me that Friends In Adoption would be able to answer all our questions about what to do about the birth father since he wasn’t cooperating and what kind of contact we could have with the adoptive family. Friends in Adoption connected us to an adoption attorney in our area and a counselor. (I knew I couldn’t get through this without some counseling.)
We were happy to learn that we could pick the adoptive family and chose someone who was similar to our own family. We spoke to them on the phone and met with them twice before the baby was born. I finally got pre-natal care and would speak to them after my doctor’s appointments. The relationship we developed was built on respect and gratitude on both of our parts. They were an answer to my prayers and I was an answer to theirs. By the time my son was born, his adoptive parents felt like part of my extended family. With the help of my son’s adoptive parents, I realized that I had nothing to be ashamed of he was a beautiful baby boy and I was so proud!
The day I left the hospital and drove away without him was the most difficult day of my life. Despite that, I don’t regret anything. My son has a loving and stable home with every opportunity imaginable. Even though I would have done anything to give my son a great life, I didn’t have the financial resources, the maturity or time to give him the life he now has. I receive frequent letters and pictures from my son’s parents, visit with him once or twice a year, write poems to him and write about him in my journal.
Deep down inside, I know I made the right decision. Through my experience, I grew up in so many ways and learned that an unfortunate situation can be turned into something much more positive. The future looks pretty fantastic for both my son and me.