A Birth Mother’s Perspective: Alison’s Story

A Birth Mother’s Perspective: Alison’s Story

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, Friends in Adoption is sharing adoption stories during the month of November, with the goal of informing and educating the general public. Friends in Adoption (FIA) believes that placing a child for adoption is a selfless act of love. We are committed to promoting inclusiveness, celebrating the uniqueness of each person, empowering individuals and families, and standing up for the rights of all members of the adoption triad.

We met up via Zoom with Alison, a birth mother, and FIA alumna, to give her the opportunity to share her adoption journey. This is her story.

“My whole family has grown exponentially” —Alison

Twelve years ago, Alison went into labor at Glens Falls Hospital. She didn’t know she was pregnant until that moment. It was there in the hospital that she met her Friends in Adoption caseworker, Patty who she is still in touch with today.

Alison explains, “Patty asked me a bunch of questions and what my wishes would be for the child.” At that point, Alison was not ready to know anything about her baby other than that the child was healthy. Alison gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

“Through the support that I received from Friends in Adoption, I was provided counseling,” says Alison. “Through that counseling, a message was relayed to me from the family who adopted my baby that no matter how long it took me, that they were going to raise her to be proud to be adopted and to know who she is and where she came from.” That message stuck with Alison as she took the time she needed to process.

Alison met the adoptive parents and child about two and a half months later, when she was ready. She says of that moment, “There was an invisible tether there, like we had known each other our whole lives. Once we finally met, the adoptive parents were very open and excited and wanted to share the child’s journey as she was growing.”

Alison says, about her daughter, “She’ll never have that feeling that ‘Something’s missing. I don’t feel whole.’ She is always going to know who she is and where she comes from, from our side of the family, and I’m never going to go through any what-ifs. We have a really strong connection.”

She says of her relationship with her daughter’s adoptive parents, “They’re not just my daughter’s adoptive parents, they kind of adopted my whole family as well and me and I couldn’t be more happier with that.”

“Friends in Adoption didn’t just help me get through the whole adoption process, they helped me work through many, many years of past hurt, pain, and trauma,” adds Alison, referencing FIA’s lifelong post-adoption support. “Friends in Adoption are my family. My whole family has grown exponentially and I am forever grateful for that and I am grateful for the support that FIA provided me because I learned a lot about myself. I grew as a person.”

At this point in her life, Alison believes that everything happens for a reason and she has become an advocate for open adoption. “People only seem to know what adoption was thirty years ago or forty years ago. I am such an open book to help educate those who are looking to adopt or to help those who may not even be in that situation to give them a bigger picture view of what adoption is and what it can be.” Alison has been a guest speaker at our Get Acquainted Workshops.

She concludes by saying, “FIA is family-oriented. They care about people and they care about the children. They care about everyone involved.”

Friends in Adoption proudly offers support and resources to all members of the adoption triad throughout the initial adoption process, after placement, and throughout each individual’s lives.

If you’re a prospective adoptive parent or a pregnant individual seeking an alternative to parenting, Friends in Adoption is here to help. Contact us at 1-800-982-3678 or info@friendsinadoption.org.

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